In My Efforts to Make Conversation
In my efforts to make conversation, I have experienced situations where people have asked me how I am but they never really waited for my response. Why? Because they assume I am going to say what most people knee-jerkingly say….. “I’m good.” Are you that kind of person? Learn how to engage in substantive dialogues with others. We all need to interact with each others. The purpose for this is to learn from each other, encourage each other, as well as helping each other by pointing out areas we all need to improve or change completely. 1“Sharing with friends helps multiply the joys and divide the sorrows.”
Sometimes meeting new people or even trying to make conversation with familiar people can be daunting. Talking and sharing can sometimes make you feel vulnerable and under pressure to say impressive or humorous things. Small talk is good but it has its place. There comes a time where you will want to hear someone’s heart, mind and feelings; to hear their real story and this is where you begin to engage in meaningful conversation!
- Give a compliment and if one is returned, keep the response short and simple. Show more interest and genuine care in what the other person has to say.
- Resist the urge to say everything you know
Resist the urge to say your life history, your whole job description and to describe your whole family tree!
- Share A Little
Try to share something personal. Nothing too deep; just enough to encourage the other person.E.g, what you went through and overcame or how something has been a great help to you. “Psychologists say that when you disclose something about yourself, other people feel inclined to do the same.”
- Pause for a few seconds in order to gather your thoughts so you can deliver your next response in a coherent way.
- Don’t push your perspective, views and ideas on people. The best part of a conversation is when the other person understands what you are conveying.
- Ask open ended questions. Ask questions that interests the other person and makes the other person special. This encourages meaningful answers as opposed to closed-ended questions which encourage short, single-word answers.
Remember to put emphasis on the other person without coming across as inquisitive or nosey
Have in mind a desire to leave a positive impact on the other person. Did you make them laugh, leave them feeling inspired, feeling encouraged, uplifted or simply smiling?
- Always consider the fact hat each person has a well of knowledge, depth and feelings. That way you will not enter into a conversation with preconceived notions and assumptions. It will not kick start a meaningful conversation!